Last night I was putting together an order for grooming supplies. My brain was moving much faster than my body, due to a most wonderful steak dinner. I finally gave up and went to bed, figuring memory would come back after some sleep. Of course it did, a couple of hours later. Instead of going through the whole leg on ritual I grabbed my fancy new "3Day" crutches. Tiny and lightweight. I gimped to the computer and finished my order, hit "send" (in hopes it will be here by Thursday, rather than saving shipping and picking up at the shows this weekend) and headed back to bed. I think I was smiling a wee bit too much. As I neared the bedroom one crutch tip hit the bathroom linoleum and slid. These fancy little crutches only drawback is that they have little hard cane tips...polished cane tips. My arms did the splits. Right in the middle, and directly in front of my body was a double door jam. One to the bedroom, one to the bathroom. IMPACT! I haven't a clue what hit what, as it all happened so fast. My left and my right knee caps both show damage. The right has an actual line that is skinned and bruised; I feel pretty sure it was hit by the jam. The left is by far the most sore. It immediately swelled and was on fire. It had the weirdest pattern on it; I don't know if it is rug burn or what. My lip also got caught, but with minimal damage. By now the puppy, who is on the bed, the very, very, tall bed, is whining , barking, and looking like he may try to jump down. Not wanting him to get hurt I butt crawled to the edge of the bed to assure him I am fine...laying down was near impossible. Any thing on that knee felt like acid. And it was cold in the house. No water at the bedside so I knew it was suck it up time. I could either go find a bottle of water, or lay there until it subsided. Ice would have been nice, but same problem. No ice at the bedside. What's with that?? What a slacker I am. Eventually the puppy pills took effect and I fell asleep. This morning I have had a chance to do a more in depth assessment and I haven't a clue how I took that dive. I think the peanut butter cookie saved my face. Yep...there was peanut butter cookie everywhere. Oh, I guess I failed to mention that I was carrying a peanut butter cookie in my mouth at the time of impact. It exploded. EX-PLO-DID, it did. Somehow I managed to get the knee and all the puffy tissue squished into the prosthesis. (I am so delighted that this new fancy leg is not reliant by the patellar tendon for support as all in the past have been. I figure that it will keep the swelling in check a bit. Right wrist is tweaked a bit; likely twisted when the crutch took off. The shoulder is a bit sore as well. Right knee is impressive looking. It looks like it ran into a door jam. Left knee will be mighty purdy colors at my next appointment on Friday. I'm almost wishing I hadn't flushed all those meds a while back. (Chill, I didn't really flush them, I took them to the pharmacy to dispose of.) However, I have way too much to do to sit around on pain meds anyway...dog shows are coming up this weekend.
So, the lesson here? Always have ice at the bedside? Never buy crutches with small polished tips? Carpet the bathroom? Save a pain pill for emergencies?
I'm thinking none of the above. All will be fine.
Where would I be without Peanut Butter?? Yep, I think that is it. That and what doesn't kill you makes you stronger...