And so I will.
Last night I was invited to a potluck dinner at a friend's house. I tend to run quickly the other way, and she knew that, so tempted me with salmon. I love seafood. Any and all seafood. Then she says "why don't you bring a dessert?" Bad move. I vented. The poor thing. She quickly changed to "How about bringing some french bread?" Little did she know that I also was craving carbs, but I can much easier walk away from bread than from sugar. (Even the vision of tomatoes with sugar was beginning to stop working.) So, I went. I had salmon, two servings, and salad...also two servings. Why is salad so much better when thrown in a bowl by someone else? Oh, and two bottles of water. NO dessert touched these lips. I was having way too much fun sharing stories and didn't even think about getting up and getting dessert. (Of course that didn't keep me from kicking myself when I got home. Doh!) Once all the food was put away I wandered into the kitchen. I felt lucky that there was not an array of wonderful baked goods, but couldn't help wishing, and also being happy no one brought any. But I REALLY wanted a cookie. Why? I could even smell them. Wait...I really can smell them. Then I realized. It was not cookies I was smelling, but the woman standing next to me. She calmly told the group how her dear husband had actually bought her some perfume for Christmas. A first for him. The smell? Vanilla something or another. My neighbor in that kitchen smelled like a cookie! I can only imagine how much pacing I would be doing if I were wearing that perfume!
Then I headed out to the garage. The folks who were hosting the get together are into racing the mini hydroplanes and he had a new boat out there. When I was a kid my grandparents lived within walking distance of Green Lake, which used to host the mini hydro races. I loved it. I was explaining this to them when he pulled out a picture taken forty years ago, or so. He and his sister in front of a mini hydro at Green Lake. "So," says he, "can you kneel on your knees?" My heart begins to pound. "Yes, if I take off my leg." "Would you be interested in trying it out sometime?" This little six or eight foot speed boat can go forty some miles per hour. When kneeling it puts you pretty close to the water line. Of course once up to speed it pretty much skims along...but, well, heck yes, I would love to try it! So I begged for the racing schedule so I can hang on the shore and cheer. Memories of happy childhood coursing through my brain matter and veins. Then I spent some time looking at trophies and pictures of everything from hydroplane racing to model airplane racing. Then there was the airplane that he built from the ground up and flew for a number of years. It will now be sold to finance his new passion...one that he will share with his grandkids. It is funny how things change as we age. My kids are all on their own and self sufficient and that allows me to do a few things just for me, such as the dog show thing. It is getting easier to allow myself to spend on myself. Knowing that I will be leaving my kids and grandkids a greater vision of who I really am, certainly makes it easier. I hope that I am building memories for them as well as for myself. Oh, and, yes, there was a racing schedule in my email when I got home. Yes!!
So I will now take "lighten up" to another level and go fix a bowl of salad. The vision of sitting in the cockpit of that mini boat has replaced the picture of a tomato with sugar and I am suddenly craving salad.