Thursday, December 3, 2009

Another day dawns

I awoke this morning to incredible beauty.

We had a deep frost last night. The sun rose through the trees behind my property and it was truly breath taking. I find it interesting that this simple show takes the sadness and grief of the past few days and helps me see that life does, indeed, go on. I have not yet decided if I will stand in the flag line for the fallen officers. There is now a second option that is a ride in honor of the four. I may do that if I cannot attend the services. It is still pretty overwhelming.

On the up side I had a great time at dog class last night. I have learned so much and Kate, well, Kate is Kate. She does all that I ask, but puts her own twist to it. She makes me laugh. An hour of concentrated posing is almost too much for her. I have found that I can curb her a bit by going a few minutes early and having a bit of play time in the room before any other people show up. I think I will be showing in Puyallup unless she is moody and hormonal.

I spent a couple of hours the other day doing genealogy. Dog genealogy. Someone put together a Cardigan database and I sat and entered names. It was amazing to read all the titles that her ancestors have accumulated. I am now a bit more serious about finishing her. I had not really looked at her pedigree until then and it really is quite impressive. Thanks go to the breeder for allowing me to take this dog and to put her into the ring. I will do my best for her.

My health just continues to improve. The harder I push, the better it gets. I know there is a fine balancing that needs be done, but this whole "wrapping in bubble wrap" is done and over. The best part is that I have found that since I cut out the big meds, the small ones work much better. Yes, I still have the Remicade headaches, but they are completely taken care of by Ibuprofen now. I don't want to be "numb by narcotics." It affects every corner of my being. I would rather feel a bit of pain. It reminds me that I am alive. That is a very good thing. The memories of the past are often overwhelming. So much of my life was lost. I have no regrets, but won't go back. It's called ownership. Narcotics take that away. Having worked in pharmacy for years I have seen it often in others. I knew it was happening to me, but I was in survival mode. Now that same mode is dramastically different; yes, I know I just did a typo, but I like it and have decided it needs to stay. I want to feel my life and not let it just slip away. There are those days of whining and pity partying. We all have them. Now, however, I have other ways to cope.

So another day does indeed dawn. There is plenty to be done and the critters are ready for their third outing of the day. Life is such a blessing.


1 comment:

Kim said...

Puyallup is a lovely indoor (no horse poo) show. Toasty warm but is a BIG show so lots of milling about but plenty of room.

Dash and Callie are entered in conformation.

I'll be over in Rally with Casper trying to get double Q's all three days for his RAE title. (We'll only have two more after that to get his title!)