Sunday, February 8, 2009


Pink has never been my color. I don't think it was my color even when I was born. I was the ultimate tom boy in my youth. I would much rather be outside building forts and playing "horse" with my friends, than helping Mom bake. It just is that way. Now that I am signed up for the Breast Cancer walk with my daughter and friends it seems that I am submitting myself to pink. And I am liking it. Scary, but true. I am thinking that it is the reason and purpose of this walk that has me letting more pink into my life. NOT that there has secretly been a little piece of girly-girl hidden deep inside, that only appears when the hormones disappear, and I could care less. Interesting.

I am slowly picking up steam for the 3 day. At this point it is little things. I need to get a pedometer so that I can be sure that I am putting in more steps each day. My short side is healed up now and is actually toughening and changing shape a bit. It hasn't been enough that my prosthesis is a problem, thank goodness. I am finding myself feeling more and more secure in the idea of being able to do this walk. What I am NOT good at is the fund raising stuff. Too many years of Camp Fire Girls, Drum Corps, and High School Band. I hate it big time. I am thinking I will try to solicit corporate sponsorship. Each walker has to come up with almost $3K to do this walk. I have until September, but feel the need to get on this and not wait until August. Yet, at the same time, feel the importance of realistically being able to do the miles before I seek support. In the end I will benefit the most from doing this walk. I will have a bond with my daughter that will be deeper that ever. I will feel like I am somehow helping S2. I will be able to mourn the loss of my friends who have passed from breast cancer, and let them know that I miss them, and to celebrate with those who have survived. It is a deeply personal thing now. I want to walk with their names, or initials on a shirt, so that when I am ready to quit, my sweat and tears will fall on those names and give me renewed energy. So, for the next several months there will be more and more pink. Perhaps by the time this is over I will come to a better appreciation of this color.
S2: if you find me looking longingly at this:

Knock me alongside the head. Please.
For now I am going to start packing for the Oregon trip this coming Friday. I think I will get a pedometer before I go. My nerves alone ought to put a few miles on it. All these nerves for two minutes in the ring. A bit silly, actually. I think I may wear a pink shirt. My list has grown to two pages; well scraps of paper if all put together would likely take up two pages. The worst is wondering what it is that I will forget. I guess if I have myself, and I have Kate, all else will somehow come together. Oh, and the camera and a tomato, of course.

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