Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Fall is felling

and I am too bloody tired to care! Yep, it's true. Also true is that when tired everything hurts a bit more. And the brain notices all that needs to be done so I feel like I just keep getting more and more behind on the list of to-dos.

I just came in from the field and the first game of fetch for the day. Dogs are now muddy and blissfully sleeping. The house stinks and the first on the list is a carpet cleaning. As I vacuum and prepare to do the dirty deed, I dream of better days. Days of laminate flooring. Days of four touchable, holdable grand kids. Days of blissful drinking of hot cocoa, movie on the TV, dogs at feet (OK, foot). Perhaps even a dusting of the white stuff adorning the trees and ground. Heaven.

My body hurts. At the Boise shows I think I twisted "wrong" when putting Kate on the table. I got a kink behind my right shoulder blade. It is still there. My short side is still sore from the surgery. The leg just doesn't feel good for long. I wear shorts so that I can adjust as I go. The worst is the spot where the smallest incision occurred. The optional retrieval. "Sure, doc, so long as you are going in there anyway, go ahead and grab that one too." I feel like I have a boulder lurking in my calf muscle. It makes everything just a little more tentative...and I don't do tentative!

All is well with the daughter who will be pregnant forever. We are back to our normal routines, which includes sleeping. I think that the medical community no longer "does" overdue, so this kid will have no choice after next week. It WILL be known. Is that a good thing? Perhaps from a maternal mental standpoint. Perhaps from the two vessel cord standpoint. Just perhaps. You are reading from a person who had her three kids out of the hospital setting because I firmly believe less is more, and hospitals are for sick people. However, I also want what is best for both the baby and the mommy. I cannot be that judge. I admit to a tiny bit of fear when it comes to decisions based solely on time. If the baby is distressed it is another story. Monitors nicely show that this kid is doing great at this point. I will sit quietly in the corner on this.

Picture this. Red leaves, yellow leaves, evergreens. The beauty of the woods. That is what I see when I look out my windows. It is stunning, and forces me to adjust my attitude. THAT is a good thing.


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