Thursday, December 4, 2008

The human mind

is an odd piece of work, isn't it? In days past it was likely quite busy with ideas for survival; where food and warmth would come from, how to keep the family safe and together, etc. Has it become more complex? I sometimes play the game of "how did that thought or idea come into my brain" and trace it backwards to the origin. The process can become quite disjointed. Some simple little thing can morph into a whole series of "events." (Now you all can sit there trying to figure out where this came from and where it is going...very few will get it.)
Here is my question. Is the internet and the fabulous world wide web a good thing, or is it a bad thing? On the one hand I can sit in my house, with my jammies on, and pay my bills, access my bank accounts, get recipes, and learn about disease. Sounds good, yes? I think so, in many cases. However, it keeps me away from the community. With auto deposit I don't even need to go to the bank. If I did the grocery store delivery thing, I could get away from even going for food. Most of my holiday gifts are bought on the 'net, and either drop shipped or come to my door via UPS or FedX. Without the public stimulation does a person become more and more isolated? Does this lead to a surge in mental illness? I have found that as I cut myself off my mind starts playing amazing games. I can easily get depressed; perhaps even manic. With the easy access to information at my finger tips, I can self diagnose myself...often wrongly, and imagine all kinds of symptoms. What a huge hassle for the medical profession. One can go in with a set of symptoms that are "textbook" for a disease. I learned from my upbringing how much control the mind can have on illness. Scary thought. I wonder if the doctors in training are taking more psych these days. I find myself trying to stay away from medical sites. It took me so many years to get a diagnosis. I wonder how different it might have been if I could have led the practitioner to it. Then again, it might have taken longer. I will never know. The games and facades can become quite intricate. So, boys and girls, enjoy your many excursions on the web...but ponder where it DOESN'T take you. I am delighted that I don't need to worry about warmth and sustenance. Does this all really make me self sufficient? Is it possible to become totally self sufficient without becoming seriously mentally ill? Is the anger we feel at times blown out of proportion because we have less public (community) time? Is our "private space" quite large now as opposed to 20 years ago? Hmmmmmm. Angry? You bet. Happy? Yes, as well. To be able to have access to friends from the past is wonderful. One of the many huge niceties the the internet has given me. However, I think I must ponder the anger thing. I think I must turn off the computer today and spend the day out and about. Reconnect with myself and my feelings. For a change. No research. Perhaps play the French Horn. Chop some wood. Bake. The things of my past that have largely fallen away. Can I do it? Only if I finish this post and turn off the computer! Later, my friends.

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