Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Root Canals, crowns and bridges, oh NO!

Wherein I fill myself up with percocet, since it has been ascertained that this damn headache that will not go away, is instead a tooth with ailing root. Can't sleep, since I can't really take enough to kill the pain well enough, or else I'd be sick sick sick...and even then, still awake.

All my fine words about getting back on top of my finances could vanish with the whine of the doctor's diabolical tools. Nay, they almost certainly vanish, or incur a sad diminishment. Alas.

How many ailing teeth will it take before I remember, remember remember....migraines don't last for weeks, and one-sided headaches that are in fact on the WRONG side AND last for weeks are not migraines. They are, instead, vicious drainers of my bank account, because as we all know, dental insurance is a joke,

IF you are lucky enough to have dental insurance through the job (if you are lucky enough to have said job), it will provide maybe $1,000 worth of benefits per year. Know what that will buy for you? About 2/3 of one root canal. And dang it, I just know I will need a whole one! And then you know what comes next, those who have been there before me...then you need a CROWN, and it's not the kind you wear on your pretty little head. This crown does not indicate royalty for anything but the good doctor's bottom line. Crowns cost close to $1500 these days. The tooth that is standing up in my mouth playing Amber Waves of PAIN on the ocarina, will surely exceed quite wildly the limits of the insurance by at least a factor of three. So it is clear that said insurance is pretty much, worthless. Good thing I haven;t been paying any premiums then, heh heh heh.

Now of course, I could find a dentist that will accept Medicaid payments. Those dentists are few and far between, The possibility this dentist will speak English as a first language is unlikely. After getting to the clinic and given a number (no appointments, you just show up), then you wait. Only to discover that these places don't offer things like root canals and crowns. If your teeth need services of this nature, they will get out the dentist equivalent of pliers, and offer to pull it out (after all, they do want to relieve your pain).

Well call me irrascible and demanding, but I want to keep my teeth. I just would like them to function correctly, I am tired of eating only mushed up food. But on the other hand, you lose weight on the extreme dental pain diet. Wonder where to get some suspenders? Will need them soon.

I leave you with these wise words:

It's late and I'm watching Craig Ferguson's show. He has on a comedian named George Wallace, who relates seeing a bumper sticker on an environmentalist's car that says "What would Jesus Drive:?". According to George, Jesus would drive a Honda. Because IF you read your Bible, in Acts 1 and 2 says "We shall all be in one Accord". Bless George!

Well, the percocet is wearing off, better top off the tank so that I have some chance of sleeping. Good thing the dentist visit is tomorrow (well, today), cause I only have two pills leftover from that lovely week in the hospital.

Wish me luck! It will be the day of the New Moon, which is usually a day of good fortune with me and money. Let it be true today.

After the drilling and screaming, I think I might shop for a bumper sticker. I'll put it right next to the last one I bought. It says "Sarcasm, just one more service I offer". I was probably on the way home from some dread dental procedure the day I bought that one, too.

Love to everyone :)


Darn! Sorry to hear it, my dear. Best wishes on the procedure. No matter how good the dental insurance, it is never good enough. That is why I am missing a few myself. Percocet? For me it is an incredible stimulant now. If I want to do an all nighter, one will do better than a gallon of coffee. Will you ever be able to take ibuprofen again? An even better question would be: will there ever be a decent dental insurance? I now understand why so many of my elder relatives had teeth in glasses by their sinks. Back at you...

Well! It was certainly interesting to read this post again, after the fact. Who knew that dental pain could bring on such an altered state?

I feel better now.

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