Tuesday, January 6, 2009

song of the day

Crimson and Clover-Tommy and the Shondells

The song is stuck in my head but, unlike most, makes me smile. It is from an album that was given to me in my "tween" (doncha love this new English?) years. I remember playing it on a little suitcase style record player. I also got "Snoopy vs the Red Baron" by the Royal Guardsmen, but it was a 45, so I had to lift up the little hole adapter and remember to change the speed of the turntable. I was so shocked to get the album; one of my siblings bought it, but the fact that my parents "allowed" it is pretty amazing. However, unlike Simon and Garfunkle, I think Dad could actually say their name, so maybe that was the key. I grew up with music on all the time. I learned to appreciate all kinds of music. My parents were "easy listening" folks. Montovani, Lawrence Welk, etc. I remember Dad getting REALLY upset when I told him he was listening to a "soft rock" song, or the Gazillion Strings playing the aforementioned Simon and Garfunkle. Oh how I wish I had internet back then, just so I could prove my case. The good thing was that he liked to listen to the easy listening stuff, so that when he was in hospice I was able to climb on the bed with him and sing some of those 60s songs that we both loved so much. I also remember getting him tickets to a couple of concerts; no huge thing, Boots Randolf. I was in high school at the time and playing sax in the jazz band. I enjoyed it as much as he did. How many of YOU can say that you went with your Dads to concerts in high school?

In junior high and high school we were very involved with the Drum and Bugle Corps. To this day my heart gets a flip flopping when I hear nice loud brass and drums. There truly is no better sound. It is one of those things that just gets in the blood; I remember a few years back flipping stations and finding a Drum Corps competition. It is a lot different now, with the various marching band percussion and all. But that big brass sound is still there. I would go back and re-live that part of my youth in a second, but only THAT part. Practices a couple times a week, parades and/or competitions every weekend in the summer. We had no time to get into much trouble. Then there were those military inspections. They were done prior to every competition, and they were done usually by a couple of Marines. On the guys, no hair touching the collar, nor the ear, and side burns mid ear. I remember the inspections before the inspections...once the directors son had to shave his side burns with just a blade. Perhaps he got a few less gigs with the bloody patches. I was in the horn section and had to wear my hair up and in a net. Times have changed, for sure, but it would be interesting to attend a drum corps function. By the looks of it a few years back, I would be willing to guess that those inspections still exist. However, today the members would blend into the norm a bit easier. Those are the days that drove me to a major in music. Sometimes I miss it. Taking out my horn makes me feel complete in a way I cannot describe. Now it is my link to my parents.

Music is still deeply embedded in my psyche. I do little with it now, but there will be a time when I go back to it. I played in a church musical a year or two ago and found that I wasn't as bad as I was afraid I had become. Perhaps it is time to find a group here...one of these days.

Until then I am going to just keep on keeping on. My life is good. I have my bumps in the road, but feel good about who I have become. Every bump has shaped me a bit (no denying that, eh). I think the biggest lesson has been to not be unhappy. Too many people are wrapped in a whole lot of stress and unhappiness, looking for the teeny tiny bit of good. While I try to always look for the good, it makes me sad to see my children or friends stuck. Being stuck, and I know stuck, chips away at a person until all strength has gone. Life is way too short. I feel bad for the example I set as a Mom. However, in an effort to permanently ban the "Guilt Queen" from this house, I only use my experiences as examples. I am no longer that Queen of Guilt, and take no part of her into my life as it is now. It took a while, but 7 years to erase 27 isn't really too bad, don't you agree?

Perhaps these words are important in my life, and now refer to my feelings of my self. Hmmmmmm

Now I don't hardly know her
But I think I could love her
Crimson and clover
Ah, well if she come walkin' over
Now I been waitin' to show her
Crimson and clover, over and over
Yeah, my, my, such a sweet thing
I wanna do everything
What a beautiful feeling
Crimson and clover, over and over
[Repeat to fade:]Crimson and clover, over and over


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